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So Robert, no doubt inspired by the on-going reasonable accommodation three-ring circus consultations, is drawing an elaborate map of a country he calls Peace. This is an interesting example of how Robert’s brain works – his older brother is obsessed with maps and all things logical, and naturally Robert wants to emulate his big brother, so he is drawing maps. On the other hand, Robert is a much more creative, fluid soul – so the main island of this “country” is a random shape divided into various “provinces,” each of which represents something that Robert thinks of as peaceful: babies, poppies, lullabies, rainbows, doves, and so on. Smaller islands, with bridges connecting everyone, represent world religions, because (regardless of the aforementioned reasonable accommodation utter fiasco consultations) we’ve tried to teach our boys that every religion we know promotes peace.
Now, to be fair, although the concepts are crystal clear, Robert’s spelling is filled with unintentional double-entendre – the country, for instance, is actually called “Piece.” Also, there’s an island of Muslins.

In the past week, we’ve undergone some changes here at the old homestead. We decided last Friday that the boys, who have been sharing the largest of our four bedrooms, should have separate rooms. We also figured that it wouldn’t be fair to keep one in the big room while the other moved to a small room, so both boys got a new room, and we lost our home office and guest room.

Colin’s new room
Here’s how it’s working – we dismantled the guest bed, and found a cheap futon frame on craigslist upon which we have set up the futon mattress that used to be on the guest bed. Colin, who was on the upper bunk when the boys were sharing, is in the former guest room with what’s now a loft bed. Robert’s in the former office, and the office – two desks, two chairs, a couple of filing cabinets, half a dozen computers (more on that later), and approximately 2,749 books, along with the “new” futon, has been transplanted to the biggest room.

Heidi relaxes on the “new” futon
From my new office window I have a gorgeous view of the night skyline.
We took this moving exercise as an opportunity to do some book purging:

Robert poses next to the stack of purged books
Of course, this stack represents less than a quarter of my books, so it’s a giant pile, but a small step…
We’re still living in chaos, with closets to be emptied and files to be sorted, not to mention rooms to be “customized” in Colin’s words, but everyone appears to be sleeping well, particularly the cat, who is thrilled to discover beds in every room.

Check out this photo credit, please.
For those keeping track, this is the second of my photos to make the big time – one of the photos I took in Halifax at the Titanic gravesite is featured in a Swedish site devoted to the disaster.
OK, I can’t compete with my significantly more talented friend, Irene; it’s no book cover, and no money has changed hands, but at least I’ve given that meerkat his fifteen minutes of fame.

Next Thursday is officially the middle of the fall semester, and I for one am feeling it. The one good thing is that since I’ve been through this period before, I know what to expect. How can I tell it’s the middle of the semester?
~ I spent all of yesterday in a complete fog. I have no idea how I got from one class to the next, or from home to school and back. I got home and collapsed. I tried to nap, but evil creatures from another planet my children wouldn’t let me.
~ I know that the correcting I have to take care of is reasonably easy, but I still don’t even want to look at it.
~ When students ask innocent questions like “when will you be returning my essay,” I have cartoon visions of them roasting on a spit with apples in their mouths. I might just be hungry.
~ I am having my usual mid-semester dreams. Now, in the past, these have featured guest appearances by such stars as Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck (not at the same time – but there’s an idea). Last night, I dreamt that I had discovered Green & Black’s chocolate at the dollar store. The whole range – even butterscotch. Not to mention the dark cherry. Sigh.
The good news is that past experience tells me that this is not a permanent state of affairs, and that in a matter of days I will be back on track. On the other hand, the fact that this is a recurring phenomenon confirms my belief that we should have an autumn break, because presumably I am not the only person in the academic world whose resources are feeling a little tapped at this stage.
Unfortunately, I personally don’t have the energy required to do anything about changing the system. So if someone else could take care of that, I’d appreciate it. I’ll even sign a petition, as long as you bring it to me. With a pen. And a chocolate bar.

This past week, the Canadian dollar reached parity with the American dollar for the first time in 31 years.
31 YEARS!
Not that long ago, we Great White Northerners (the North being white, obviously; this statement is not meant to be exclusionary or unreasonably unaccommodating in any way) were looking at the very real possibility of our “dollar” being valued at 50 American cents. We certainly hit the low 60s, and we dipped into the 50s in daily trading more than once.
So, what does this mean, this valuable money thing? Can we, as it were, cash in on it?
The silver-dollar lining (a.k.a. the upside):
~ cross-border shopping, particularly all those fantastic outlet stores so conveniently located just beyond the crossing. Assuming the outlets are still there; it’s been a while since cross-border shopping was an activity in which sane Canadians engaged.
~ virtual cross-border shopping: eBay and Barnes & Noble, here I come!
~ political ramifications: we can talk smugly about how our government appears to be actually governing domestically, unlike some demagogues we could name. We can, but we won’t. Much. That would be gauche (from the French for ‘left.’ Coincidence??)
The cloud:
~ tourism: we’re not so attractive now that we’ve lost our banana-republic-with-skiing status. American tourists have gotten used to becoming millionaires just by driving a few miles north; they may have second thoughts about vacationing in what is essentially exactly like home, but with indiscriminate use of needless ‘u’s.
~ impact on the GNP (yes, I know what that is. I may be an English teacher, but I’m not completely clueless): a lot of Canadian manufacturers have been exploiting the exchange rate for years now, making a tidy profit on American sales paid in American dollars for products made with cheaper Canadian raw materials by cheaper Canadian workers. Ditto the movie industry – every city in Canada calls itself ‘Hollywood North’ because loads of U.S. films are made here (Mira Sorvino was in our neighbours’ house, for instance) because the location fees are cheap, the equipment is cheap, the labour is cheap, the tax incentives are, well, incentive… you get the idea. Except now, all of this is true in the past tense – our unionized key grips are still making $18 Canadian an hour, but two years ago, that was about $13 U.S. – now it’s $18 U.S.
~ political ramifications: we achieved parity under Stephen Harper’s Conservatives, albeit with a minority. But c’mon, they’re going to milk this economic upswing for every drop of political punch – and if they’re really smart, they’ll call an election ASAP, which means a winter vote, which means that the annoying holiday advertisement will have to compete for space with annoying campaigning. And they’ll win.
~ at-home shopping! This is the big one for the average individual Canadian. For example, Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows is listed at $34.99 US at Barnes & Noble, but the Canadian list price at Chapters is $45. The Gazette compared a few items in an article in yesterday’s paper, including a Honda that was about $3,000 more in Canada than in the U.S., albeit with a different sound system. I doubt we’re talking about a sound system worth 3K, though.
Now, having said that, when I did some quick surfing to back up my price-gouging rant, I discovered that we GWN’s seem to be getting a pretty good deal on some things. The ubiquitous iPod nano, f’rintstance, retails on the American Best Buy site for $129, but only $119 on the Canadian site. The two Amazons both carry the about-to-be-released Blue Rodeo album Small Miracles, which we can pre-order for $14.96 – but Americans have to buy the same album as an import for $31.99.
Still, the book thing – which also applies to magazines, which are typically about 30% more in Canadian dollars – sucks.
*explanatory note for non-Canadians. Our dollar coin (the paper dollar is a thing of the ancient past) features a loon, one of our notable water fowl. Since it’s introduction, this coin has been called the Loonie. When the two-dollar coin was introduced a couple of years later, we naturally called it the Toonie. No one can say that, as a nation, we take ourselves too seriously.

This is what my life was like this past week:
Monday: attend three-hour IT course (the latest Performa course), followed by packing for…
Tuesday: drop kids off at babysitter’s, drive to airport, fly to Toronto, collect rental car, drive to Orillia, read at Heather’s wedding, attend reception (eat, drink, dance, etc., etc.), help Heather liberate herself from the approximately 2, 364 hairpins that were apparently the back-up system in case her head fell off, crawl into bed around 2:30 a.m.

Wednesday (a.k.a. four hours later): repack – this time trying to incorporate the giant martini glass vase I won* – get back in rental car, drive back to Toronto, drop off car, fly back to Montreal, drop Dr. T. off at work, then attend second three-hour IT course.
Thursday: present workshop for colleagues on the wonder that is Moodle.
Friday: attend all-day English Department mini-conference, which includes a workshop on marking and feedback, led by me.
Today: usual weekend routine of preparing menu & accompanying grocery list, laundry, cleaning, etc., along with getting the guest room ready for a visitor who’s arriving…
Tomorrow: when Hydro Quebec will be conducting work in our area, which forces them to cut our power between 6 a.m. and 5 p.m.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love learning stuff, and I’m excited about another Performa course, not to mention being reunited with my classmates. Obviously I was thrilled to be asked to participate in Heather & Erich’s wedding, and Dr. T and I love weddings because we’re too old to go drinking and dancing at clubs anymore. We got the DJ to play ‘I Wanna Be Sedated’ and danced our asses off. Good time. And winning the cup glass was a hoot. I was so glad to help Heather with her hair and in so doing, actually get some ‘just us’ time. The Moodle workshop and the mini-conference were both great, and I am so happy that our department is addressing the issue of marking and feedback (in past years we’ve focused on numerical alignment, rather than the written feedback we give our students). The mini-conference is always great, too, because we get to catch up with each other after a couple of months away from campus, before the teaching starts and our encounters are often 30-second chats in the hallway on the way to class.
But still. Big week.
*The martini glass: this is what happens when an English teacher gets married ~ Heather decided that the beautiful centrepieces, which consisted of giant martini glasses filled with blue glass beads and an arrangement of irises and mini-mums, would go to the person at each table who came up with the best poem. Specifically, this poem had to include the word ‘love,’ and make reference to one of the products sold at Erich’s German meat shop. I kid you not. Our winning entry:

There was a young pair from Orillia
With whom we are very familiar:
She loved Erich first,
Then discovered his wurst…
Just give us the centrepiece, will ya?

Explain the following, please:
~ when talking to a colleague on the phone, I noticed I used the Valley Girl “like” and was thereafter unable not to say “like.” I could hear it. It hurt my ears. Keep in mind that I am an English teacher. So is my, like, colleague. Ack.
~ my mobile phone plays MP3s, and it was my walking music device for the past winter and spring. Although it was set on “random,” it exhibited a definite preference for Tom Petty, Sheryl Crow and No Doubt. My new MP3 player, also set on random, with essentially the same selection of tracks, has yet to play anything from No Doubt, and very little Tom Petty, but played five Stones tracks in 45 minutes this afternoon.
~ fruit flies. Seriously. Where the F*^$% do these little bastards come from, and how to I get rid of them? My house is clean! But leave a glass of wine unattended for three minutes and there’s a black cloud of insects over it, apparently paying their last respects to the dozen or so of their compatriots who have thrown themselves into the deep red abyss.

~ in the last two days, I’ve been out riding twice
~ I have not fallen off
~ the sun is shining
~ the WGMIL has taken my wonderful children to Milton Keynes for four days, leaving me behind to look after horses and newborns and new parents
~ the new parents have made several appreciative noises related to my horsecare and cooking
~ the WGMIL and my wonderful children will be back here tomorrow
~ they’re bringing Dr.T. with them!
… and best of all…
~ “Marley Goodfellow”, my new nephew, is a Googlewhack

This morning I received spam offering me “soft viagra” at a new low price.
I wonder why it’s so cheap?

Ahhhhh, vacation. There’s nothing like it. We’ve done tons of stuff, and I will write about all of it at some point, but just now the sun is shining and the great outdoors beckons. I hope that all of you are enjoying yourselves as much as we are!
Oh, and in passing, thirteen years ago today I got lucky. Happy anniversary, sweetheart. (K)