Category: Great Moments in Journalism

Stop everything.
Thanks, Vin.

This headline is why I want to work for the BBC.

According to a recent article on the BBC web site, “The music industry is to take legal action against 247 online song-swappers across Europe in the biggest crackdown against music piracy outside the US…
The first wave of legal actions will affect Germany, Italy, Denmark and Canada, and will be implimented according to that country’s law.”
What’s a few thousand miles of ocean between friends?
Oh, and I think I’m professionally obligated to cringe at the the “according to that country’s law” error. Should be “according to each country’s law,” or something like that – unless the legal actions really will be implemented according to Canada’s law.
via Jiiiiim, via a blog from a broad (happy birthday, and happy Roman holiday, Lisa!!)

Two news items made me giggle this morning:
1. Drunk Texas dad asks 11-year-old son to drive – any bets on how long before the ex-wife takes this guy back to court?
2. Attack carp – Perhaps inspired by recent “preventative measures” in the international news, carp in the lower Missouri River are leaping out of the water when they see a boat coming. And they’re not trying to jump out of the way.

Apparently, this guy is too dumb even for the Darwin’s, since he didn’t, technically, get dead.
“When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911.”

Jennifer Garner is hustling for the real-life CIA.
Instance of Irony: given the recent anti-Kerry slurs that use his bilingualism against him, I found it amusing that this ad – which emphasises the CIA’s role in fighting terrorism and safeguarding Americans – specifically encourages US citizens with “foreign language skills.”

Leave it to our litigious neighbours to the south. A class-action suit has been filed “on behalf of all Americans” against Janet “this boob’s for you” Jackson:
Terri Carlin, a 47-year-old Knoxville bank employee, contends that Jackson’s exposure and other “sexually explicit conduct” during halftime festivities caused viewers to “suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury.”
Also named in the suit: Justin Timberlake, CBS, MTV and Viacom. Apparently the Patriots and the Panthers are not being held accountable for the outrage, anger, and embarrassment, although the serious injury charge might stick.
Via Tenorman
I will grant you that this is a case of nonnewsworthiness, and that just thinking about that massive piercing makes certain bits of my anatomy cringe, but I still say I’d rather be exposed (pardon the pun) to Janet’s boob than Michael’s face.
Shudder.

Today’s Gazette, front page, above the fold: 4-column pic of heartwarming mother-daughter-the-daughter-has-a-terminal-disease duo. Readers are directed to a different section of the paper for the actual story.
Below the fold, one column (which amounts to 3 sentences) is devoted to the story of a West Island doctor who is ‘considering’ banning the use of hospital resources for private, profitable plastic surgery.
The three remaining columns? How Canadian impersonators are responding to a new Prime Minister.
Meanwhile, on page A7, if you’ve read that far: Colin Powell admits that there might not be any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
Page A7????

Bennifer is dead – again.
I thought the engagement was off last fall. Apparently now it’s off again.
Thank goodness for media coverage, or we’d never know all the fascinating details of these people’s lives.
At least Ben and Jen are easier on the eyes than Wacko Jacko.

In today’s Gazette, Bill Brownstein’s column is devoted to examining the excesses of well-to-do pet owners. Apparently one can purchase booties for one’s dog, to protect against the cold and mess of winter.
Said booties feature “rubber souls.”
Meanwhile, in Iowa, the Democratic hopefuls are campaigning non-stop. In an article from the New York Times, Diane Cardwell reports on how the lack of sleep is affecting the various candidates.
The Gazette reprinted the article – I’m not sure which venerable journal was responsible for the questionable hyphenation.
John Kerry, it seems, “is alternately on-point or irritable, sometimes miss-peaking…”