My nephew Simon, who is three and whose sister, Elizabeth, is pretty much brand new, asked his dad why Elizabeth has no penis. Zip told him that because Elizabeth is a girl, she has a vagina instead.
Simon, whose other auntie has just returned from the Far East, now thinks that if you’re a girl, you have a “China.”
As is, the Great Wall of China.
Company’s coming – get out the good china. It’s in the china cabinet.
This china’s been in the family for generations – it used to be my grandmother’s china…
Made in China.
You get the idea.
Elizabeth Claire Moore-Main
My sister, Kathryn, has finally produced a female for the next generation! She already has two boys, and I have two boys, and I think my mother was beginning to lose hope. But Elizabeth Claire has arrived.
Ellie was born Monday evening, weighing a healthy 8 lbs 2 oz, and as you can see, she is definitely not bald.
Things I never thought I’d hear myself say
“Would you two please go somewhere else to argue about fembots!?!?”
It was only a matter of time, really
On Sunday my seven-year-old son announced he wanted to know how to make his own web page.
Tada.
TGIFF
So I took Friday off to be at home with the boys, both of whom had a Ped day. We decided to take advantage of the fact that I was home, and Dr. T arranged for the gas company, GazMet, to send a guy to clean the furnace. Our house is heated by radiators, with the water heated by a natural gas furnace. Our hot water is also gas-heated.
GazMet said the guy would be there anytime between 7 a.m. and noon – but assured Dr. T that the guy wouldn’t actually show up at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m.
Can you see it coming?
7 a.m. – GazMet service guy shows up to clean the furnace.
8* a.m. – Dr. T gets into my car, leaving me the other, child-seat-equipped car, and drives off to work.
8:02 – Dr. T drives over a nail.
8:10 – Dr. T comes home, having left the car in the Canadian Tire parking lot, figuring he’ll work from home for the morning and get the car sorted out midday.
8:30 – GazMet service guy presents us with a bill for about $145, for parts and labour, then tells us that the chimney is blocked, so he has turned off the gas. He tells us that GazMet won’t turn the gas back on until we’ve had a liner installed in the chimney. What he won’t tell us, on the other hand, is who to call to get a chimney liner installed on short notice.
*All times approximate
For once, red-eye is a good thing
Colin as a robot, and Robert, well, d’uh
Shiny happy pictures
We took the kids to Granby Zoo last Sunday, thanks to my Mum, who provided passes for us. Traffic was a prime pain in the ass, so it took us ages to get there, but once we were there, we picnicked on the lawn, basked in the sun, and had a great time. We each chose one “must-see” animal beforehand, so no one would be disappointed – we knew we couldn’t possibly see everything. Colin chose lions, Dr. T. chose some obsure Scrabble-word animal, Robert chose penguins, and I chose tigers.
The lions and tigers were not a problem; however, the penguins didn’t actually exist, but Robert was a happy camper nonetheless. As for the weird Scrabble animal, we didn’t see one, but we did see an agouti. Woohoo.
Anyway, on a crappy, rainy, Frances-inundated day like today, please enjoy these sunny, happy day pictures.
Hot town, summer in the city
Robert got new rollerblades yesterday.
Strange brood
So the kids are downstairs, singing to each other.
One is singing ‘O Canada.’
The other is singing the ‘Mother’s Lament’ from Disraeli Gears, complete with the Ginger Baker accent.
Well, my work here is done.
Next time you need an ice-breaker…
Last night at supper, the following conversation took place:
Colin: Do other animals fart?
Me: Yes.
Colin: Do only animals fart?
Me: Yes.
Colin: What kind of things are not animals?
Me: Well, plants, rocks…
Colin: But are spiders animals?
Me: Yes…
Colin: So spiders fart, right?
Well?