It recently occurred to me that what’s missing from the current Democratic primary race is sex.
Let’s look at this historically: in the last 50 years, the most successful US presidents (Dem.) are Kennedy and Clinton, both of whom were plagued by sex scandals, and the more we learn about them, the steamier they get.
Carter kept the “lust in his heart” and the beast in his pants – and lost his reelection bid to some actor from California.
LBJ, meanwhile, branded all the females in his entourage with his initials, but although he followed through on several Kennedy initiatives, such as civil rights and the space program, he failed to keep up, well, “it.”
Kennedy and Clinton, on the other hand, were randy buggers who, it seems, were willing to boff anything in a skirt (or a blue dress). I’m willing to admit my ignorance when it comes to American presidents pre-1960, but I bet there are even more examples of the Democratic Ass gettin’ some.
So, Democratic candidates, listen up – get out there and get dirty. Your country needs you (note the very, very subtle wordplay. Shakespeare did it first).