Blargh

I hate head colds.
I can deal with the flu – sure, there’s a lot of running to the bathroom and some messiness, but it doesn’t usually last long and people are sympathetic. I can handle a chest cold – less messy than the flu, and as an ex-smoker, I’m not all that bothered by the hacking cough.
Head colds SUCK.
I cannot breathe. I spend my days panting like an asthmatic puppy. Wearing my glasses hurts. Blowing my nose hurts. My lips are chapped from all the mouth-breathing. The only way I can sleep is by taking megadoses of Dristan orally AND nasally, with a NeoCitran chaser – which works great in terms of clearing the passages so I don’t suffocate overnight, but leaves my throat and mouth dryer than Stephen Wright’s wit.
At least the flu takes off a few pounds – I think I have gained a few, just from the added weight of all the crap in my sinuses. Seriously, how is this stuff manufactured? What are the raw materials? Was this stuff always in my head, just waiting for an opportune moment to morph into more goop than technically fits in my head?
Blargh. Sniffle. Whimper.