This afternoon, we said goodbye to my grandmother. I spoke at the service, and I wanted to share those words (more or less) here.
Less than five years ago, I wrote about Jane. This is what I said then:
My grandmother is 85. She has all her own teeth, and does not use Miss Clairol to keep her hair brown. She wears a hearing aid, but no glasses. She is definitely all there mentally. She has Parkinson’s, and is now confined to a wheelchair. She lives in a private room in a nursing home. When she needs to pee, she has to ring her bell for help. Geographically, I am her closest relative and I live more than an hour away by car.
Since then, things changed. In recent months, visiting with Jane was a fascinating and often amusing trip through her past. She told me about her life as a child, a teenager, a new bride, a mother, a mother with teenagers… she told me these things not as memories, but as moments that she was reliving. It would be easy to shake our heads and say “how sad”, that she was no longer “all there.” But listening to those moments from her long life, I learned that it was a good, happy life. The moments she relived were bright spots, and those are the kinds of moments we should all relive once in a while, to remind ourselves how blessed we are.
My sister, my brother, our cousins and I were blessed with the quintessential grandma. Grandma Jane was short and round and bustling, with rosy cheeks and bright blue eyes. Christmas meant Grandma Jane’s crescent cookies, and summer meant her Jell-O salad. She was so proud of all of us, too.
I am sad that we have to say goodbye. But I am so glad that we had her for as long as we did, and that we have so many bright spots of our own, thanks to her. I still remember just how orange that Jell-O salad was, and the way those almond cookies melted in my mouth. I remember Christmas mornings waking up in the bunk beds. I remember the ladies dancing across the mantelpiece. I remember the blue candy dish that never ran out of pink peppermints. We all have our special memories of Jane, which means that she will always be with us.
Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your Grandma Jane. Thank you for sharing your memories of her here.
JB
Thank you, Margaret, for posting this. It means a lot that I can see Jane whenever I want now! xxoo
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for the service, but it means a lot to read some of what was said. Thank you Margaret.
My condolences on the passing of your Grandmother.
Hi Margaret,
Thanks so much for posting it and saying such kind words at the funeral. It is the memories which stay with us. I can remember visiting Jane three times in the nursing home and each time she was so happy to see me. And although I was always rushing to get somewhere, her enthusiasm made eac trip I made worth the while. Jane would have liked that we all came together as we did to celebrate her life. While I am certainly not a religious man, I am certain that in some Jane was looking down and smiling on us that day. And it is this, that we can all take comfort in.
Thanks again,
Much love,
Kevin
So sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing. I’m glad that you can find comfort in your happy memories of her. It means she is still alive in some way.
Margaret you have captured the essence of Jane in such loving words. She would be so proud of you…as she was in life so proud of all of you…from her children , to grand children to great grandchildren. She was a good friend to me for over twenty five years and as a women of her time I was always so impacted by her ability to speak up for herself and protect those values she believed in. She taught me many things by example about cooking, keeping a beautiful home, reading good hearty books, challenging the world,taking care of those she loved even though it meant putting her own life on hold and yes that also meant she taught me patience even though hers ran a bit short at times.
Her picture still hangs in our home and always will…she is as you say. always going to be with us.
Thanks for all you did for Jane and for your kind words.
Gini xox
Hey girl,
I know you read those words to me over the phone, but rereading them just accentuated how poignant your memories are of grandma Jane. My vague recollections of her are that she was down to earth and daunting as I expressed to you before. It was clear to me who your father took after. Here’s to your grandma. She was one of a kind. Love ya,
Alison
YMMD with that anwesr! TX
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