The Saturday Gazette is the big paper ~ loads of features, and as many flyers and coupon books as they can stuff between the sections. In one such flyer in this morning’s paper I came across this:
This is ‘Tiny Miracle Emmy’ and she’s a doll. Literally.
I believe my exact words were “ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew!” Or something to that effect.
But wait, it gets better.
I went to the website to get the photo of Emmy, and discovered that there’s a whole series of these weird collectibles, including this one:
Now, at first glance there does not appear to be anything significantly different between Exhibits A and B… until you read the description of the second one:
“Hush, Little Baby” is a genuine So Truly Real® “breathing” baby doll, designed by Master Doll Artist Waltraud Hanl. A battery-powered mechanism tucked inside the doll raises and lowers her tiny chest in a lifelike breathing pattern that mimics real life, making her a joy to watch. Gently place your hand on her chest, and you can even feel her breathe—such a comforting sensation!
This baby girl looks and feels so real, from her baby-soft RealTouch™ vinyl skin (our exclusive, patent-pending formula) to her delicate wisps of hand-applied baby hair. She has perfect newborn features, including delicate baby eyelashes and tiny fingernails and toenails. Hold her in your arms, and she feels just like a real infant. She comes to you in delicate floral-print nightgown and matching cap, with ruffled panties and even a little diaper.
Adding to her realism, the “Hush, Little Baby” doll is approximately 18″ long. Blanket not included.
Obviously, there’s no need for them to include the blanket, since you’ll get more than enough baby bedding at the shower.
ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew!
My skin is crawling. What sort of person could possibly want one of these?
I know! It frickin’ breathes!!
Sweet merciful crap. I’m envisioning waking up in the middle of the night to two little glowy eyes staring at you and the sound of it breathing. GAHHH!!!!
my roommate and i were looking at these and we thought of the money that people spend on this crap, and how it could be used to save actual straving children
When my little brother died, i got the baby boy one of these, baby Charlie. They’re not so “ew, ew, ew!” as you may think. Having lost my 3 month old brother, and then having something to hold, even if it isn’t real, was quite comforting. && have you ever thought, that people who cant conceive, can’t adopt && really have no hope in having a child, would like somethinng just to hold? Even if they know that its not real?
When my little brother died, i got the baby boy one of these, baby Charlie. They’re not so “ew, ew, ew!” as you may think. Having lost my 3 month old brother, and then having something to hold, even if it isn’t real, was quite comforting. && have you ever thought, that people who cant conceive, can’t adopt && really have no hope in having a child, would like somethinng just to hold? Even if they know that its not real?