Yesterday was the first class session of my next M.Ed. course. This one is Developmental Psychology: The Emerging Adult. Part of yesterday’s session was devoted to small group discussions in response to the following questions:
1. When did adolescence begin for you? Why did you choose this age?
2. When does adulthood begin? Why?
So I thought I’d ask you, my loyal readers, the same questions. Consider it informal research.
Keep in mind that what we’re looking for here are experiential answers, not technical, clinical or legal definitions. In other words, answer according to your personal experience – when did you become an adolescent, and what emotions/events/circumstances made you feel you were no longer a child? When did you feel you were really an adult, and why? As a follow-up, do you think your parents would have different answers about themselves?
Some of the discussions we had – in class and at the supper table last night – made it clear that answers may vary according to generation and location, so try to include some chronological and regional data in your answer.
For example:
I was born in the summer of 1969. I spent my so-called formative years in the Eastern Townships of Quebec, in West Bolton. I went to elementary school in Knowlton, and high school in Cowansville. For me, adolescence began in Grade 7. Initially, my gut reaction was to link the onset of adolescence with my first period, but I started late (13), and all of my friends already had theirs (I still remember one wise old 12-year-old telling me that I’d soon wish I had never started menstruating, after all). I felt like a teenager long before I “became a woman,” and a lot of the elements were in place in Grade 7. As a group, I think we felt significantly older than the rest of the elementary school we were still trapped in, and we started “going out” with boys (there was never any actual “out” to go to, of course, it was just our euphemism for “this is the guy I hold hands with at recess.”). Many of the girls had started their periods. The guys were suddenly conscious of their clothing. The girls were suddenly deeply embarrassed about breaking a sweat in gym class. The way my friends thought and felt about things mattered a lot more than the way my parents saw the world; for instance, in earlier years, when my parents chose to enrol me in an immersion program, it never occurred to me to object. In Grade 7, when my mother enrolled me in the high school immersion program for the following year, I wept for days. Immersion wasn’t like real high school! I would be an outcast. My mother was clearly determined to ruin my life. Sigh.
As for when adulthood starts, well, I’ll save that response for another entry. Now it’s your turn!
Drop me a note with your e-mail address and I will write you a short essay on my perceptions of childhood, adolescence & adulthood. I think it would take me more space than I have in the comment window!
I’d say my adolescence was grades 6-8, starting when I was almost 11 (born late ’69) (in St Catharines, Ont). Not on any biological basis, tho hormones certainly did come into play. Definitely to do with identifying with a peer group, maybe even an intellectual awakening. For those years I was enrolled in an enrichment program, one “special” class in a regular public school — socially it meant we were marked as different by the rest of the school, but as a result the 20 classmates were very close (within our own group we had cliques, but we still stood together against the world at large). The curriculum was relatively unstructured — lots of individual and group projects to pursue our own interests, figure out what our interests were; freedom!
I’d guess that most people would peg adolescence to about that age, but it’d be marked by very individual turning points.
Early adulthood: age 17 when I left home for university. But then followed (an attempt to relive my teenage years as I should’ve?) a good 10 years of exploration: social circles, jobs, travel (and partying too).
Real adulthood: if I have to pick an age, 27. I quit a secure government job to pursue my chosen field. Also, settling into a relationship where I knew he was the one — but I don’t think of that as a defining moment, rather a side effect of maturity.
You’re right what a difference time and place makes: my father age 14 in Poland at outbreak of WWII was thrown into a Russian prison. Will ask my mother how she’d answer.
Thanks, Isabella – and thanks for asking you mother. I look forward to hearing what she has to say.
I am planning to use this topic in my next journal entry, at which time I’ll give a synopsis of answers from Dr. T., my kids, and my mother.
Anyone else care to share?
I’ve been trying to decide if I should chose a time looking back retrospectively, or if I should try and remember when I “felt” like an adolescent. Were they truly 2 different ages? I actually think they were.
I grew up in Chomedey, Laval. I’d say I “felt” like an adolescent at about 11 years old (6th grade). I liked boys, I talked on the phone, I tried to be cool. But considering that my parents wouldn’t let me walk to the pizzaria with a group of my friends without a chaperone, I’d say I was probably a little ahead of myself. If I look back, in retrospect, I’d have to say I was an adolescent when I was about 12 or 13 (7th grade). While that doesn’t sound like much of an age difference(what’s a year?), for me it was. I started junior high. I made a bunch of new friends. I actually had boys who were friends, not just guys in our class. I was allowed much more independence (bike rides around the community, shopping at the mall). My “problems” became not so much about “I wanna go play, why can’t I go?” to “He likes HER?!? But she likes HIM?!?” Oh, the drama. I also got a job at that age as a snack stand counter person and babysitter, and have been working in some form or other since.
As for adulthood, I’d have to say when I left home at 19 for Montreal. Carrying 4 jobs and school at one point to pay the rent makes one grow up real fast. As does student loans to pay for university. Not that I had it bad at home. It was just time to move. Having said that, I still feel more an adult with a kid than I did when I was living the “university life.” Until last year, although I did feel like an adult, I was pretty laid back with my life and time. Now, respoinsability has kicked into high gear, and I’m wondering if I’ve turned into one of those “old moms” I remember from when I was a child.