Culled from this morning’s headlines

Convicted felon from LA hospitalized with frostbite – the gentleman in question was attempting to walk from North Dakota to Winnipeg in order to take a bus to Quebec to meet a woman he has fallen in love with over the Internet.
Of course! Beer school! About time, frankly: “The Labatt Beer Institute, which officially opened in Halifax’s Brewery Market complex on Wednesday, will train students on everything from the history of beer to matching beer choices with different foods, to how to pour it properly.”
Apparently he plans to embarrass them to death – Lindsay Lohan’s father, according to the divore papers: “O.J. Simpson has nothing on me,” [he] allegedly told the family’s security guard last year. “I know exactly how I’m going to kill (them). I know when I’m going to do it, and I’m going to enjoy it.”
Police help victim bite dog!
It’s official – Jlo and that guy who isn’t Ricky Martin are indeed married. After months of speculation on the part of the very few people who still care, Jennifer has finally admitted it. Maybe they were waiting for the media to come up with some way to refer to the couple – after all, ‘Marc Anthoniffer’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
And the discovery of the day: Mary Ellen Lang, a self-described “mom, grandma, writer, teacher, gardener, and equestrian,” is now writing a regular column on education for CBC on-line. Her latest topic is the decline of punctuation.